Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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