My girlfriend figured out who you are.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
