Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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