I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
