For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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