Got a toothbrush?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
is wine microwaveable?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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