somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
