How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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