Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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