I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
