Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
