It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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