oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We're too hungover to prance.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
