Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
