I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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