so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
