i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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