Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize