After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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