I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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