I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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