i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Green mimosas i think yes
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
