the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize