please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
