I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
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