I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
