Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
