Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
When are your genitals available?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
