the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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