So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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