I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
