Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize