So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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