i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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