why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
