i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She's the barista slut.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
