we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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