we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
