if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
