Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
