this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
