shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He kissed a someone with a penis
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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