You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize