So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
