I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
