Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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