Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
