its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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