I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
