my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
