at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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