So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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