She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
