don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
