You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
