Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Let's paint friendship bongs
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
