It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
