yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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