So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
