lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
