she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
no you cant smoke seaweed
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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