are you still at the devil's house?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
