speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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