how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
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