After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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