So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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