If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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