apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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