I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
