she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
