While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she peed on how many people?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
