she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
No subtext here. People are naked.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
