Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
