we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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