i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Say something about gay babies.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
