You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
