I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
